Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Chapter Thirteen

You guys are SERIOUSLY the best!!! Your comments had me peeing my pants or going "awww."  I had an awesome vacation that was probably too short, but then I wouldn't be posting today!!


You know it's funny how freedom can make us feel contained
Yeah When the muscles in our legs aren't used to all the walking
I know if you could snap both your fingers that you'd escape with me
But in the meantime, I'll just wait here and listen to you when you speak... or scream

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through 'cause I just really want to be with you

The truth cuts us and pulls us back up
And separates the things that look the same
Then you can fight it off, you can fight it off, you can
Waste - Foster The People






When my alarm went off early Friday morning I groaned loudly and slapped it, almost knocking it off my night-stand.  Of course it wouldn’t be the first time the thing was thrown to the floor.  In fact, a piece of duct tape was holding it together in a few places.

I didn’t get back from dropping Alex off at her house until after midnight and it was still dark out when I stepped outside to go for a run.  It was one thing to miss a full-fledged work-out so that I could travel back to Edmonton for a few days, but it was a big mistake to skip even just one 5-mile run.  I have always prided myself in my determination to constantly keep with my fitness routines and it was especially important when there were only a few more weeks before training camp.  If I missed a day, I’d feel like I’d be back at square one the next day.

As my feet began hitting the pavement and the music began blaring into my ears, a small smile formed while my thoughts easily fell back to my afternoon/evening spent with Alex.  Try as I might, I couldn’t talk her into staying the night with me, but it was probably for the best; especially since neither of us wanted to rush into things. 

Funny how things can go from overly awkward between two people to “I want to jump you” in the matter of a few weeks.  I guess what made things change was the simple fact that I finally looked past her handicap and saw her for who she really was; a woman who intrigued and inspired.

“Alex, you know, I can turn the Jeep around and head back to my house very easily…” I commented after I looked over and found her staring longingly over at me while resting her head on the head-rest of her seat.

“Sam, I’m fairly sure you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that I would be all about that.”

“Well, then?”

“This night wouldn’t be ending with just a kiss goodnight…” she giggled as she nodded her head towards the radio, which was playing the song by Lady Antebellum while we talked.

I chuckled at this and nodded in agreement.  Of course this fact did not make me steal a smaller amount of kisses in the moonlight at her front door.  I pulled her up, so that she was standing on my toes like she did the night we danced at Sarah’s wedding.  She wrapped her arms around me and smiled up at me, her eyes sparkling. 

Something inside me wished I could have taken a picture of this moment, despite the fact it was still perfectly ingrained in my head while I ran in the cool, damp morning.

“Can I talk you into coming with me to Edmonton tomorrow?” I asked between some small kisses.

A sad look clouded her eyes and she slowly shook her head.  “No…no, I won’t be accompanying you to Edmonton…”

I lifted her chin so that she’d look at me again and so that I could lay a chaste kiss on her now pouty lips.  “Next time then.”

She gave one nod and kissed me back.  When she pulled back the sad look was gone and the sparkle in her eyes was back as she whispered, “Go home and go to bed, Sam Gagner.   You have an early flight.”

“I do…which is exactly why I should just stay here and sleep with you…” I began, but she cut me off with a kiss before letting go of me and plopping back down onto her chair.

“Good night Sam.”

I laughed.  “I’ll call you this weekend?”

“Oh, I don’t know.  John and I might have a couple hot dates lined up…”

“Whoa.  Totally not even funny that you joke about cheating on me with one of my best friends…”  I threw up my hands.

She looked up at me with a face of twisted confusion.

“I was actually dating someone the night you and I met…”

“Oh, I think I remember John mentioning something about you not being single, but you seemed to be fairly cozy out on the dance floor with that red-head,” Alex called me out with a smirk.

I instantly blushed and pulled my baseball hat down over my eyes.  “Well, um, yea…you seem to have a really good memory…”

“I was in the Army.  They teach you to have a good memory,” she smiled broadly now.

“Well, yes, ugh, look, you don’t have to worry about that with me,” I said quickly.

“Sam, finish your story.”

“Oh, well, Eden and I were dating for about a year…”

Alex’s eyebrows shot up, looking slightly shocked.

“And well to make things short and sweet, she was completely crazy and ended up cheating on me with one of my best bud, Patrick Kane.”

“He was the blonde with the gerry curl at the bar that night?”

I laughed a little too loudly at this remark and nodded my head.

“Yeah, he seems a little off, but then again, I’m not one who can judge that.  I’m sorry that happened.  If I cheat on you, it will definitely be with someone who isn’t your friend…” she giggled, completely making the whole situation a joke which made me laugh again.

“You are totally definitely not right,” I shook my head.

“I have never claimed to be.  I’m sorry, I’m just so used to joking about things like that because when I was in the sandbox, I knew more than a few guys whose girlfriends/wives who cheated on them while we were serving our country.  I actually took care of a guy who tried to kill himself after he found out about it.  So, with things like that, you had to make people smile.”

Those words were echoing through my head as I turned the corner for the last stretch of my run.  It reminded me how much life Alex had seen and how much life I hadn’t even begun to experience.  And with my profession, I might never experience.  It was a sobering fact that made me want to keep Alex close by me as a reminder of how I should live my life, thankful for every moment.





“I’m afraid,” I said quietly to Race while we headed to my doctor’s appointment.  It was my first check-up since I had started working with Dean.  I had been apprehensive about the appointment for the last week and a half.  However, today, that wasn’t the case.

“You know you’re making progress, so what does it matter what the doctor has to say?” Race spoke sincerely.

“No, Race.  I’m not talking about this appointment.  Yeah, sure, I had myself all psyched out about it, but that is not what I’m scared about right now,” I practically yelled, causing him to look over at me.

“Well, what makes you so emotional then?” he asked the way he would have asked me when we were over in Afghanistan to get me to talk.  Race was not only in charge of my platoon, but he was also the resident counselor.

“Sam.”

He paused for a moment and then drew out an, “Oohh.  What are you scared about.”

“I’m scared about him finding out about the real me.”

“The real you?  I don’t think I’ve ever known you not to be yourself.”

“I just mean about Danny and my depression after the accident and the person that failed.”

“You didn’t fail at anything, Fletch.”

“I didn’t save Danny or the rest of my platoon,” I said quietly, knowing he had heard my argument on this before.

“Well then if that’s how you still look at it, I guess we are both failures, but I figured you were moved on about this,” Race said evenly.

“I am…I ain’t.  Ugh.”

“I have a feeling this has more to do about having feelings for someone for the first time since Danny…”

“He doesn’t know about Danny,” I whispered.

“Well, when it’s time, I’m sure you will tell him and he will listen and take it for what it is.”

“I don’t want him to think he’s 2nd best.”

“Is he?”

“Well, it’s not as if I have that figured out yet, but I don’t think so.  I mean, Danny and Sam are two different people, which makes me wonder if there really is much hope for Sam and me.”

“I think you are looking way too much into this all.”

“I always do,” I fretted.

“Fletch, just take your time and soak it up.  You deserved to be loved again, Alex.”

I sighed and put my head in my hands.  “I just wish I didn’t feel like I’m not supposed to be living a happy life.  I was so sure up until a few months ago that my happiness was left back at the barracks in the desert.”

“You’re finally seeing everything I’ve been telling you for so long and what the counselors have been telling you.”

“I have a thick skull.”

“I might have to send a warning to Sam about that…” Race laughed and I punched him as hard as I could in the bicep.





“So Cogs warned me that you have a new lady friend that you’ve been entertaining,” Teddy (Theo Peckham), my teammate, ribbed me as we stood out on the golf course.

Jason Strudwick was having his annual golf charity here in Edmonton, despite not being resigned by the team.  I was going to miss the old man and I know the community was going to miss him just as much.  His sense of humor was off the charts and he really took us young guys under his wing the last couple seasons.

“A new lady friend?!” Struds immediately piped up.  “What happened to Eve?”

“Her name was Eden and she was fucking Kaner in my bathroom the one day…”

“Oh, ouch!  Did you threaten to shave off the pubes on his head?” Teddy asked.

I laughed a little harder than normal for the simple fact that I was instantly reminded of Alex’s comment on the gerry curl.  “Nah.  It’s all worked out for the best so far I guess.”

“So who’s the poor girl?” Struds inquired.

“Her name’s Alex!  She’s probably in all reality too good for our Sammy here…” Cogs suddenly announced, walking up to our crew after teeing off.

“Oh come on Cogs…just because you won’t be living with Sammy next year, does not mean you can be brutal with the kid.  We all know that our Sammy deserves someone very special,” Struds said proudly, wrapping a fatherly arm around my shoulders and pulling me in to rub his fist across the top of my hat, effectively causing me to cringe in pain.  He soon dropped his arm and began asking for the details.  I cringed again, kind of dreading the reaction I was going to get when he informed them that she was in a wheelchair.  I wasn’t embarrassed about it, but I was more afraid of them not being as open minded about it as I had finally become.  To be fair, I’m probably not giving them much credit, but I also know what gets said around the locker room even by stand-up guys.

“She’s Korean, petite little thing that could probably break Sammy in half.  She works out with us at the gym, which is basically how we all got to know her.  She can almost bench press Sam’s weight.”

“You make her sound like the female version of Schwarzenegger!” I complained.

“I said she is petite!” Cogs defended.

“So okay…besides her being able to kick Sam’s ass; what is so good about her?”  Teddy pushed.

“She’s beautiful, she’s funny, and she’s got a genuine personality,” Andrew said sincerely.  He described her perfectly.

“She’s sounds too perfect!” Teddy exclaimed.  With this comment, I looked over at Cogs who silently nodded.  I didn’t have to say what I was thinking and he too realized it, keeping from saying much more on the matter.  They didn’t need to know every detail right now.  When the time was right, they would find out.

“She sounds the exact opposite from Eve,” Struds commented.

“Her name was Eden,” I groaned, shaking my head.

“Eden or Eve…sounds like Alex is already batting 1.00!” Struds smiled.





“So what did the doctor say?” Sam asked excitedly the other side of the continent when he called me Saturday evening.

I sighed and shrugged, despite the fact that he couldn’t see me.  “He didn’t really say much except say that he noticed I was building up muscle in my legs.”

“You didn’t need a doctor to tell you that…” he said, sounding as disappointed about it as I felt.

“No, I didn’t, but the good news is that he didn’t have any bad news,” I tried to smile.

“When I get back I will help you work even harder.  My goal is to have you walking before I get back here for the season,” Sam announced.

I couldn’t help but giggle and smile at the sound of determination in his voice.  I was beginning to look forward to seeing him play in a hockey game.  I had a feeling that determination spilled over onto the ice.  “I’d just be happy to have you get back here soon.  I didn’t think I’d say this before last week, but I actually miss your mess making ways around my apartment.”

“Just admit it, you miss my kisses,” he said in a now cocky tone.

I closed my eyes and smiled.  “Okay, you got me there.”

4 comments:

  1. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh! *sigh*
    They're so cute :) I loooooooveee them :)
    I'm starting to feel a little nervous about what's going to happen when Alex tells Sam about Danny and what's gonna happen when she sees the picture(which I found after re-reading)...
    Can't wait to see what happens! :)

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  2. Oh Chica I am soooo glad to have you back! Now I can know if I yelll at you about a chapter you will actually be here to feel the pain! lol

    Great chapter! I think it is a fate thing about the picture...but I can't wait to see what is gonna happen when she sees it...open the flood gate I can imagine...

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  3. I got goose bumps when he said he wished he could take a picture of that moment. Yikes! I'm glad he told her about Eden cheating. I also think it's good they got to spend some time apart and sort through their feelings. Can't wait to see what happens next!

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  4. i can't believe how addicting this story is! i keep reminding myself that you update every other day lol=)

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