Monday, September 19, 2011


Well, I'm sad to say but we have come to an end.  However, I think it's a pretty good ending to a pretty cool story.  I've had a blast writing this and from your comments, I'm thinking you all might agree!! Really, your comments help me so much as a writer and I want to thank you all. I was going to list people individually, but I'm always afraid I will miss someone, so I won't.

It's already getting to me that I won't be writing much over the next year due to keeping myself in check for school, but I'm thinking I'll need a break here for there, so one-shots will definitely be a possibility. For those, I will probably just set-up another page that will just have short-stories and one-shots... we shall see though.

As I promised, I will be posting a few of my older stories that were originally posted on the FanFic board for those who aren't apart of that wonderful group. Once I get the page set-up I will let you all know.

As for Make Me Believe... I'm still working on that Epilogue, and I know there have been a few of you asking for an ending on that, so I promise to get one up soon.

Again, THANK YOU for reading!!

Our last soundtrack for Sam and Alex is a tune from the Black Keys

Oh darling, can't you see
I'm shining just for you
Loneliness is over
Dark days are through

Let me be your everlasting light
A train going away from pain
Love is the coal
That makes this train roll
Let me be your everlasting light 

Everlasting Light - The Black Keys


“Holy shit this really hurts!” she cried.
“I’m sure you’ve been through worse things,” I cringed as I attempted to get her to loosen her death grip on my hand, afraid she was going to break it.
She looked up at me with her eyes, still resting her head on the chair while she laid there and glared.  “Wow, now that was supportive.”
I smiled before leaning down and kissing her forehead.  “It’s looking great so far,” I said lightly.
“I only have two lines drawn,” the Tattoo artist announced, completely blowing my cover.
“So the two lines look great, eh?” Alex raised an eyebrow, obviously trying to hide a smile.  Or maybe it was just her gritting her teeth.  Either way, I was still proud of her.  It was big day for the both of us.  We were back in Edmonton for the start of the new season and after just missing the playoffs last season, it was already looking like it was going to be a promising year for the team.  As soon as I arrived, the coach talked to me about being an Alternate Captain, stating that I had grown up and was ready for a leadership position among the team.  I had done a lot of growing up and of course Alex had a lot to do with that.  It was time I become a man, and it was easy to be that with her around. 
Despite the issues with her parents, it didn’t take much to persuade Alex into staying with me all last season.  Her relationship with her mom was pretty much healed.  Unfortunately, the relationship with her Father seemed to be permanently broken, but Alex seemed okay with the fact.  My family instantly fell in love with her and she and my sisters had no problem ganging up on me when they would come to town to visit.  My dad was inspired by her and my mom loved her for the simple fact that she somehow got me to actually clean-up after myself.
Unlike Eden, Alex didn’t feel the need to drag me along to all of the stores when she decided to do some interior decorating in both of our homes.  She also didn’t feel the need to totally change everything either, which I was glad.  Luckily we were both all about subtle decorations, so instead of crazy pieces of gaudy art, there were pictures of us, our friends and family, and pictures of landscapes that we actually took when on our vacations.  After a serious talk one evening, we hung the picture of her and Danny.  Instead of it hanging in the bedroom though, it now hung in downstairs hallway, next to her medal of honor, a folded Canadian flag and the letter of commendation she had received from the Prime Minister.
“I feel like it’s a shrine or something,” she fretted as I hammered in the last nail to hang the picture.
“You should be proud of what you did over there, Alex,” I said, repeating the words I had said the night I brought up the idea.  “Besides, I have all my trophies, medals, and special jersey’s hanging downstairs in the rec-room, so it’s only fitting the other hero in the house gets her own area.”
“Still, don’t be surprised if you come home at some point and find it taken down,” she mumbled before lazily allowing herself to lean back against the other wall.
I shrugged and hung the picture I still loved for some reason.  Some might have found my obsession with the picture slightly disturbing considering it was a picture of my girlfriend kissing another guy, however, I looked it at on a whole other level.  I still viewed it as something spiritual, and I also saw it as a perfect depiction of the war we daily fought in life.  That day was the start of the new Alexandra, the Alexandra I would later fall in love with.
Despite my initial fears on how the team would react the first time meeting her; there was never a word of uttered about her handicapped in the beginning.  Of course a few of the guys were curious, but instead of approaching me, they just asked her out-right.  Alex had no issues explaining.  When she was officially crutch free, a couple of the guys, including Teddy, Magnus and Jonesy who are basically the locker room hub of pranksters, threw a big party for her.  She told me more than once that the guys reminded her so much of the guys on her platoon.  Jonesy’s wife and her had also become very close, helping to fill some of the void of being so far away from Denise and Race during the season.
Our summer back in London was a lot different from the last one.  This time we were a couple for the whole time.  Plus, Alex was more comfortable going out and doing things, now that she was free of any equipment.  We took a vacation with Cogs and his new girl and Tavares and his new woman down to Costa Rica and baked on the beach together.  We spent a couple weeks in Vancouver visiting with my family.  There were also a couple weekend getaways that we took together also.  The rest of the time was spent with Race, Denise and our new God-daughter, Gracie.
Watching Alex with Gracie gave me even more of an itch to knock her up.  She was so wonderful with the bundle of joy.  I couldn’t help but picturing her pregnant with my child.  These thoughts only added to my reasons of proposing marriage.  I wanted to make her mine, forever.

It took some time to get used to being a hockey WAG.  It wasn’t all butterflies for me.  Luckily, I was okay with being independent and not feeling the need to have Sam constantly attached to my hip.  Like Sam said, I found things to occupy my time.  A lot of the time was abosorbed with volunteering at a local clinic as a nurse.  It wasn’t the battlefield, but I have to admit, I was more than okay with that.  I enjoyed the challenge, but I especially enjoyed the fact that I had my own identity.  Unlike some of the other WAG’s, I didn’t have to give up who I was, and I reveled in that fact. 
It also gave me something to do when Sam was on his road-trips.  I found it mind boggling when I realized how many of the women spent everyday clothing shopping and worrying about the newest fashion.  I on the other hand had no desire to even get involved with any of that.  Of course I learned that I should look presentable when at functions, but I didn’t need to go shopping everyday to do that.  Ryan Jones’ wife was also very down to earth and became a quick friend.  Often when the boys were away we’d catch a movie together or just keep each other company.
It was especially hard knowing that I was in the same town as my parents and not really able to spend much time with them.  Of course my mom and I were content just going out and doing things together, but it was still slightly awkward not going over to my childhood home if my father was home.  He knew we were spending time together, but I thought it best just to stay away when he was around so that things wouldn’t be made uncomfortable for my mom. 
I stopped using my crutches after Christmas.  I stopped using my cane by the time we headed back to London for the summer.  It took me all summer to decide on what I wanted for a tattoo.  After some deep thought, I chose the saying, “If not Now, When?” and translated the saying into Korean.  It was going to look beautiful.  The words had basically become a motto for my life.
I knew I wanted Sam to be with me for the tattoo since I decided to do this, but as of right now I was beginning to second guess my decision.
“The two lines look amazing, babe,” he grinned back and winked at me.
“I’ll give you two lines that look amazing…”
“And you are going to have something written on you that you didn’t approve in the original drawing if you two keep bickering back and forth, which is making you move,” the tattoo artist growled.
That was all it took for Sam and I to stop our constant banter.  He just continued to hold my hand as I willed myself to relax and close my eyes, trying to forget about the pain and to remember why I was enduring it in the first place.

“Whatever possessed you to come to the drive-in movies?!” Alex whined, wrapping herself in her blanket that she brought along.  “No one else is here because they too agree that Edmonton is a frozen tundra.”
“It is not a frozen tundra and it isn’t even that cold out yet!  You of all people should be used to the cold here…”
London has spoiled me.  Besides, you are used to this, Mr. Hockey Stud.
“That’s very true!  I am a stud!” I chirped back.  “I can turn the SUV back on and crank the heat if you like,” I said sincerely, even making a movement to crank the engine.
“No that’s fine…”
Before I knew it, the movie began.  Little did Alex know, I rented out the whole place for tonight.  It was after season, but I talked the owner into doing a little favor for me in exchange for front row seats at our home opener.  He had no qualms about opening the place for me after that offer.  I felt bad using my status to get what I wanted, but tonight was a little important.
“Mulan?!  Really, Sam?!  No wonder no one is here…this movie is old school and you are definitely a dork for liking it.”
“I thought you liked the movie!” I exclaimed.
“I do, but for a 20 something hockey player, it seems a little odd for you to like the movie…”
I shrugged and laughed.  “I’m secure in my manhood.”
She bust up laughing at this and then reached out from underneath her blanket and smacked my arm.  Her infectious laughter filled the SUV.  Quickly, I grabbed her hand before she could bury it back underneath the blanket and held it, despite the fact that she kept trying to pull it back.
“You absolutely are a total dork,” she reiterated and shook her head.
“Well, now that we got that established, will you marry me?” I asked, tilting the open ring box back and forth to garner more attention to it.
Her mouth dropped and I was fairly sure she wasn’t breathing, so I decided to talk a little more.
“I never thought I’d find someone who would love me for me and not for being a hockey player.  Of course it probably helps that you are completely oblivious to Canada’s obsession…”
“I’m not oblivious,” she suddenly spouted.  “You know that I love watching you play. That is unfair of you.”
She was right, I knew.  Alex might not be able to tell you every rule or understand why certain calls are made, but I knew she truly enjoyed watching the game, especially when I was playing.  Otherwise, she couldn’t really care less.  The only other teams she would watch without me having to beg would be the Ducks or the Islanders.  “It might not have been fair to say, but at least I got you to talk,” I smiled.  “Is this really that much of a shock?”
She closed her mouth and bit her lip while shaking her head slowly back and forth.
I leaned towards the center console and tugged on her hand so that she would meet me halfway.  Soon we were just centimeters apart from each other, the nervous tension felt like the unstable air of a hot summer night.  “Marry me, Alexandra,” I whispered.
“I love you Sam,” she whispered back before pressing her lips to mine.  In my head I was shouting out words of excitement, my lips however were two busy kissing the woman who turned my world upside down.  When we finally broke off the kiss, we were both breathless.
“So, I’m guessing that’s a yes?” I panted.
“Yes,” she giggled, holding out her left hand so that I could slide the ring on her finger.
She held her breath until it was in place and immediately she fiddled with it, checking out every detail.  I grinned; proud of me for picking something that looked so perfect on her small hands.  “Sam, it’s beautiful…” she whispered excitedly.
I grabbed her left hand and began turning it so the light of the movie made it shimmer in the dark and then looked up at her.  “It looks perfect on your hand,” I remarked, grinned at her.
She then lifted both hands and cupped my face as tears began sliding down her face.  “It doesn’t look as good as you look on me,” she choked out before kissing me again, the salt of her tears lightly seasoning her lips. 

The taste of his kiss and the feeling of being in his arms, only reiterated the fact that I hadn’t died that day in the streets of the desert was because it wasn’t my time.  I had a whole other life waiting for me with this man who had proposed marriage to me.  No more sunglasses, and no more umbrellas, because I was ready to face the bright light and enjoy this perfect moment and chance I was given.  If not now, when?


  1. Amazing, I loved this story. You're such a great writer.

  2. Cute Ending! Sad to see it end. I really enjoyed the story. I look forward to reading your older stories from the fan fic board.

  3. That was beautiful. I'm so sad that that story has ended and I'm even more sad that we might have to wait a whole year just to read some of your work again but it's cool. School is important so it's okay :) Cause I know that when you come back, you'll have a bunch of brand new amazing stories that we can read! :)

  4. Very nice!
    I can't believe it's over now!

    What are you going to do now? Just study, study, study?? That's going to be so boring*

  5. thanks for this great story! i enjoyed it so much. i know you're going to be busy but keep on writing will ya? =)

  6. That was a wonderful story and a perfect ending! I look forward to your next story, whenever that may be. You have much more important things to concentrate on. Best of luck in school!!! :)

  7. I loved this ending...It tied it all together and was completely perfect...sorry to see you take a hiatus but I'm sure your studies will cause you to want to write many one shots!

  8. Such an incredible story. Thank you for sharing and best of luck in school! :-)

  9. Good luck at school!
    Be sure to keep a notebook with all your writing ideas, for when you have time to write again, I'm sure you're just brimming with creativity!