So can I stay here with you, till the day breaks?
There's something you should know
I ain't got no place to go
So can I stay here with you, till the day breaks
How happy it would make me to see your face when I wake
So lay with me in your thinnest dress
Fill my heart with each caress
Between your blissful kisses, whisper
Darling, is this love?
Can I Stay? - Ray LaMontagne
Great, I haven’t seen my father in over a year and not only did I have a plan to avoid him while I was here in Edmonton, but I also had a nice idea of using Sam as a complete diversion so that I wouldn’t even think about the fact that I was back in my hometown. So much for that.
“Were you planning on contacting us on your arrival or were you planning on flying under the radar?” My father asked in a tone that he used on me when I was being scolded for being bad as a little girl.
I steadied myself on Sam’s shoulder as he quietly bent down and picked up my crutches, took a breath and finally looked up at my father for the first time. He had aged, and not well. His hair was now completely grey and the lines around his eyes had become very defined. It was obvious he had lost some weight too. “Obviously I didn’t need to personally contact you, because you somehow found out anyways…” I said bitterly.
“Race called you mother.”
Figures. Damn Denise.
“From the way it looks, you seem to have something else a lot more important here in the city of
, besides your family,” he continued with a direct glare in Sam’s direction. Edmonton
Before I could even begin to say my rebuttal, Sam was jabbering.
“Mayor Fletcher, I’m Sam Gagner, Alex’s boyfriend…”
My father left out an ironic laugh as he shook Sam’s hand. “Well, thanks for reassuring me that my daughter wasn’t here making out with just some random guy...Although I can’t say I’m too thrilled to find out she’s dating a hockey player…”
“Father, really?!” I hissed. “You haven’t really had much contact with me and you find it okay to insult my boyfriend?!”
Sam squeezed my wrist in warning as my father just stared. I was used to these looks; for Sam, not so much.
“Well, I’m tired from my flight. Do I need to book a time to meet with you and mother by calling your secretary, or can we come up with something now?” I grumbled, not caring that I was sounding down right nasty. Seeing him brought back all the hurt I had suppressed that last day he stepped into my hospital room.
That was probably one of the most uncomfortable situations I had ever been involved in. Nothing like meeting the father of your girlfriend while making out with her in an airport terminal, in the city that he was mayor of, and who obviously doesn’t approve of anything his daughter does at the moment. It was obvious a lot of mending needed to be done.
“Alex, you really should go over to your house now…” I said quietly as she snooped around my house, checking out things.
She turned around and shook her head. “No, I am going to do lunch with them tomorrow. Tonight is our time,” she spoke simply. “I’m not going to let him ruin the time I have been waiting for since the day you left.”
I couldn’t help but smile at the sincerity in her voice and the look on her sweet face as she stood there from across the room. I took a deep breath, recorded the memory of the moment in my brain and then practically ran across the room to scoop her up into my arms. She left out a squeak and laughed as I carried her into the bedroom.
“Sam!” she squealed.
“What, Alex?! Wasn’t this apart of your idea?” I feigned.
“This is exactly a part of my idea,” she purred, grabbing at my shirt and pulling it off me as I set her on the bed.
I didn’t give her time to strip me any farther. I jumped onto the bed, pushed her backwards and began laying kisses all over her beautiful face and neck. “God, I’ve missed you, princess. The smell of your skin is making me crazy,” I growled into her neck, making her squirm under me. Suddenly she pulled me down fully against her and flipped us, so that she was now over top of me. There must have been a slight look of shock on my face.
“You know,” she grinned, “Now that I have the use of my legs back, you have your work cut out for you…”
“No, you do, because now you are always going to be on top,” I winked before getting her out of her dress. I groaned while taking in the beauty who was now straddling me in just a pale yellow, laced bra and matching high-cut thong. Her hair was falling in her face; the lust in her eyes was undeniable. “Shit,” I breathed.
She leaned down slowly. She knew she was turning me on with every movement; it wasn’t difficult to notice with my dick straining to be released from the confines of my jeans. I couldn’t breathe when her lips touched my forehead. Her lace covered breasts lightly brushed across my bare chest, making it feel like my skin was on fire. All I could do was breathe shallow breathes while she kissed random points on my body, moving at a painfully leisurely pace down towards the button on my jeans.
She undid the button. I ever so slightly lifted my hips so that she could remove the barrier, immediately feeling some relief. I jumped when I felt her tongue draw up the length of my cock. After a few tastes, she took me fully into her mouth and my hands immediately gathered into her hair. Her mouth felt amazing around me. I knew I wasn’t going to last long when she began using her hands to assist in pleasuring me.
“Alex, I need to be inside of you…” I mumbled in between groans of pleasure.
“Mmm,” she hummed, almost making me come anyway.
“Come here baby,” I said through clenched teeth as I concentrated on not going over the edge quite yet.
She took me fully into her mouth once more, and sucked hard as she let it slide out of her mouth one last time. The look of disappointment on her face almost made me say that she could finish, but I was ready to bury myself into her depths and not look back.
I crawled back up the length of his body and pouted. He undid my bra with a flick of two fingers, freeing my aching breasts and then hooked a finger through my thong, skillfully sliding them off as he rolled me onto my side. Before I could get comfortable, he flipped me back on top of him again. I braced my arms on his solid chest and slid myself down overtop his hard cock. I couldn’t help but leave out a little cry of pleasure. Once he was bottomed out in me, I sat there for a moment and just stared down at him before beginning to move. I didn’t have all the strength in the world, but Sam helped in the movement department by placing his hands on my hips and assisting me. This was a team effort and we were intent on scoring as many goals as possible. Not only had I missed my best friend this past month, but I had also been missing my lover. We really had an amazing connection and I couldn’t help but not see that every minute we spent looking into each other’s eyes.
Soon he had me pulled to his chest and he was doing most of the work, thrusting into me as he held me close. “Sam…” I cried when he would hit the right spot. It didn’t take long until I was speaking a line of curse words and succumbed to the orgasm that had been building as soon as we had begun this venture. It wasn’t long after, Sam also began panting my name and I felt his seed fill me with all his warmth and love.
Lucky for me, Sam was totally into cuddling after doing the deed. It worked to my advantage, because I couldn’t move, too entranced in the sound of his heartbeat and his breathing.
We made love a few more times that evening and ate dinner somewhere in between there. We had gotten take-out from one of my favorite Thai places called The King and I.
“Mmm,” I moaned, allowing the flavors to melt in my mouth. There was always something rewarding about eating food from a favorite restaurant that you haven’t eaten at in years, especially when reminded you of all the good times you spent in that city.
“If you show me yummy food places like this all week, I’m gonna need to get to the rink an hour early and stay an hour late to work it all off…” Sam licked his fingers.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure you will be able to count an hour of sex towards that work-out time,” I grinned and poked him in the side with my toes.
“Smart thinking!” he exclaimed, crawling over towards me and giving me a sloppy, spicy kiss. “So how much work will I have to do to talk you into staying here with me for the season?” he whispered into my ear.
My heart stopped, despite knowing the question was coming. A warm feeling flowed through my veins and I almost forgot that he was probably waiting for some sort of response.
“I don’t want to rush things,” I began slowly, feeling him tense slightly before moving back to his seat on the couch so that he could look at my intently. “However, it was only a month apart from you and I already thought this week was never going to come…”
I watched a small smile begin to form on his lips as he nodded in agreement. “I really mean it, Alex. Maybe it’s a little soon, but I want you to stay here with me for the season...I’m sure Dean could hook you up with someone to keep working with for your therapy,” he said thoughtfully. “I’m not saying that there won’t be times that you will be lonely; being a hockey WAG is not always easy.”
“I obviously found things to occupy my time this last year and a half…” I giggled, but looked at him straight in the eyes to let him know I was touched by his worries and for the fact that he was being honest with me.
His face lit up, obviously noting that I was leaning towards his side on things. “Well, actually, if you want, the WAG’s here always need help with all their charities and I know they would probably be very happy to have you.”
I laughed at this. “I haven’t even met anyone yet. So you don’t know for sure if they’ll want me around.”
“Why wouldn’t they?! You’re perfect,” he grinned, crawling back over to me and taking my plate from my hands, placing it on the coffee table.
“I’m fairly sure you’re biased, Gagner.”
“No, I’m just realistic,” he nuzzled me neck, knowing it always got me amped up.
I playfully pushed him away, trying to get some air between us. He compromised by flipping onto his back and laying his head in my lap, looking up at me with his hypnotic eyes. “You know, you are a man that goes from one spectrum to the other,” I teased.
“Well, at first you didn’t want anything to do with me and now here you are asking me to move in with you and making it sound as if it would be a sin for someone not to like me.”
“It would be a sin!” he exclaimed. “Which is exactly why I’m all about you now; it’s all about getting God to forgive my sin so that I can get to Heaven.”
“So you’re using me?” I scoffed, trying so hard not to laugh at his absurdity.
“Just think it as a partnership. I get to go to Heaven and you get to praise Him every time I make love to you.”
I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. If only life could always be this innocent.
“Alexandra!” My mother cried, running into the foyer while still wiping her hands dry on a dish towel. The house smelled glorious from her home cooking. It was evident she was going to pull out all the stops for our lunch. “I swear it is a miracle!” she pulled me close and kissed my hair. I knew she was talking about the fact of me walking again, but she never could actually bring herself to say the words. “You look so beautiful, my daughter.”
“You look good too, Mom,” I choked, cursing myself as the tears came all too easy. I was quickly realizing how much I had suppressed all the disappointment and how much I really did miss being in her arms.
“Thank you so much for coming home, even if we weren’t the main reason,” she whispered.
I nodded and took a step back from her.
“I hope you’re hungry! I made your favorite,” she began clucking like normal, scurrying back to the kitchen. I followed her and took a seat at the breakfast table, watching her move around the room that she and I had spent so much time together on weekends and after school. I would sit here to do my homework as she made dinner and on the weekends, she would teach me something new to cook or bake. I often thought of those times when I was in Afghanistan.
“Creamy Chicken Casserole?” I asked.
She spun around and smiled broadly while she nodded her head. It was then I noticed how much she had aged since the last time I saw her. The wrinkles on her face were becoming more prominent and her hair was almost silver and not the light brown I remembered it to be. Seems like we all aged a lot over this time apart.
“So tell me about this boy you are here to visit?” she suddenly began.
“Ah, so Father told you?”
“He just told me you were here visiting a boy…”
It was obvious he told her more, but she wanted to hear it from me. In all honesty, I didn’t have any problem talking about Sam. “Well, we met back in London. He trains at the same facility I am doing my therapy at and is actually Denise’s cousin.” The surprised look on my mom’s face told me in fact that I was right; my father had told her more than she was letting on, but obviously she didn’t know that fact. I could only assume that he made a stink about Sam being a hockey player, making him sound like a total stranger that picked me up at the bar. Well, instead of picking me up, I caught him…but that is totally unrelated now. “So, yeah, he’s obviously up here to start the season with the Oilers…”
“What’s his name?”
“Oh! He’s the boy with the bigger ears,” she said in a tone that was not meant to make fun of him, but I laughed any way.
“Yes, that would be him.”
“He does a lot in the community,” she spoke thoughtfully. “But, then again, the whole team is very involved here.”
“That is what he told me…”
“So you must be pretty serious, because I can’t see you coming up here for someone you don’t care much about,” she smiled sadly.
“I’m in love with him,” I said plainly. I wanted to say that it was so serious that I was actually contemplating on moving in with him here in Edmonton, but I didn’t think now was the proper time for that bomb.
She looked at me for a moment and then nodded. “So you have moved with your life.”
“Yes, he has helped me a lot with that.”
Before I could say anything more, my father stepped into the kitchen and nodded to me. I guess he hasn’t moved forward with his life.
“How did you get here?” he asked not sounding very polite in the process.
“Sam dropped me off.”
“He’s not coming for lunch?”
“He figured that it should just be the 3 of us this time,” I said quietly, starting to seethe slightly at his condescending tone.
He just nodded and grabbed the plates my mother had set aside before walking out to the dining room to set the table.
Dinner was very awkward. My mother was non-stop talk and my father was silent as a mute. By the end of it, I was praying that my stomach wouldn’t make me empty all of its contents, at least not here in this house. It made me mad that he was still doting on the past and with each silent moment, the angrier I became.
“So what is it that you want to say to me Father?” I suddenly spouted, actually cutting my mom off as she talked about one of her projects at the library.
He raised his eyebrows and looked up from his half-eaten dinner plate. “I don’t have anything to say,” he said simply, pissing me off even more.
“I’m walking again…and you have nothing to say?!” I raised my voice ever so slightly. “What do I need to do to prove to you that the decision I made was one that I will never regret?”
“You went to war and what do you have now?! Nothing. You have no job and you have nothing to show for your time except for scars and crutches!” he shouted.
“I have my life,” I hissed. “I have a man that loves me for who I am and doesn’t expect me to be anyone but myself. Just because I didn’t do what you wanted me to do, doesn’t mean my life is a waste.”
“But you could have been so much more.”
“And you could just accept me for who I am and be proud of me. You pin medals of honor on the men who return from the war, but you can’t even look at your daughter, a war hero, and say that maybe she was right in the decisions she has made. Don’t you hate waking up and looking in the mirror, knowing you are a hypocrite?”
“Please, stop arguing,” my mother sobbed. “He misses you Alexandra, he is just a proud man who can’t admit when he’s wrong…”
“And I’m a woman who will not step back and accept that as an apology,” I spoke, staring straight into his eyes. “I am who I am because of you, Father,” I continued. “If you can’t accept that, then it is what it is.” I laid my napkin down on the table. Grabbed my crutches, stood up and kissed my mom on the cheek. “I will see you later. Thank you for the delicious lunch. I am sorry,” I whispered.
I didn’t turn back as I walked through the front door of the building that was once my home. I hobbled slowly a couple blocks down and plopped myself on the park bench and waited for the man I knew I could still count on.
Life wasn’t meant to be perfect and I was starting to realize that I was okay with that. What would it be without the adventures? If it meant I wasn’t going to have everything I wanted, then I could deal with that. Maybe things didn’t work out with my father the way I would have hoped, but at least I couldn’t say I didn’t try. I looked down at my legs and the crutches that were sitting by my side. I had come a long way in just a few months. Between the walking and my outlook on life, it was obvious that maybe the Man upstairs really did keep me on this earth for something more.
I was still thinking about this thought when Sam pulled up alongside the curb. When he put down the window, I instantly saw his smile and sent up a silent thank you, because I was fairly sure it was that smile I was kept on this earth for.