Ulterior Motives

I've been thinking of making a blog for just my one-shots and short stories for a while now and today I finally got the ambition to do so! As of right now I have one story posted... I will be posting some others as the weeks go by and I get them proof-read. Obviously this is just a space for the extra things I write which might not all be on hockey players... we shall see... click on the link, check it out and follow!! :o)

www.needabreakdownhere.blogspot.com

Don't Give Up On Me

Well, I said I wouldn't do it. I said I wouldn't be writing full-stories, but this article and a talk in Philly with K and RebelHeart made the gears begin to turn on a player that people either hate or love. I can't say he's gorgeous, but I can't say he's ugly... I guess I want to say that he is intriguing and makes for a good story character. I am not a Capitals fan, so please don't think of me as one. However, with some help from some willing people, I've had some help in making this story seem as authentic as possible.

I am sure I will have some readers that won't be willing to read this because of the character, and that is fine, but I ask you keep an open mind (like me) and remember I have yet (at least I hope) to steer you in the wrong direction with my random pick of guys... Enjoy and please let me hear your comments (whether you like it or not)!!

www.dontgiveuponme8.blogspot.com

Check it Out!

Posting one of my archived stories... www.loveandflowers19.blogspot

Check it out!! I'd love to see you all over there and hear your comments!! Also keep on a look-out... I am planning on making a page that will just be my short-stories and one-shots... some will be old and some will be new as the year goes by! I'll let you know when and where! Hope you're all well and thanks again for the support!!

Epilogue

Well, I'm sad to say but we have come to an end.  However, I think it's a pretty good ending to a pretty cool story.  I've had a blast writing this and from your comments, I'm thinking you all might agree!! Really, your comments help me so much as a writer and I want to thank you all. I was going to list people individually, but I'm always afraid I will miss someone, so I won't.

It's already getting to me that I won't be writing much over the next year due to keeping myself in check for school, but I'm thinking I'll need a break here for there, so one-shots will definitely be a possibility. For those, I will probably just set-up another page that will just have short-stories and one-shots... we shall see though.

As I promised, I will be posting a few of my older stories that were originally posted on the FanFic board for those who aren't apart of that wonderful group. Once I get the page set-up I will let you all know.

As for Make Me Believe... I'm still working on that Epilogue, and I know there have been a few of you asking for an ending on that, so I promise to get one up soon.

Again, THANK YOU for reading!!


Our last soundtrack for Sam and Alex is a tune from the Black Keys

Oh darling, can't you see
I'm shining just for you
Loneliness is over
Dark days are through

Let me be your everlasting light
A train going away from pain
Love is the coal
That makes this train roll
Let me be your everlasting light 


Everlasting Light - The Black Keys

Chapter Nineteen

So it's definitely Monday... and I definitely missed my Friday deadline for posting, but I have to admit I just couldn't get where I wanted to with this chapter until today... Now it's written and now I'm happy with it and I hope you are too. I'm not making promises for the next chapter... but I am confident that it will be posted at least by the end of this week. In reality, it just might be an Epilogue... just so you aren't too shocked when it does happen!! :o)  P.S. I start Medic School TONIGHT!!! YAY!!


So can I stay here with you, till the day breaks?
There's something you should know
I ain't got no place to go
So can I stay here with you, till the day breaks
How happy it would make me to see your face when I wake
So lay with me in your thinnest dress
Fill my heart with each caress
Between your blissful kisses, whisper
Darling, is this love?
Can I Stay? - Ray LaMontagne

Great, I haven’t seen my father in over a year and not only did I have a plan to avoid him while I was here in Edmonton, but I also had a nice idea of using Sam as a complete diversion so that I wouldn’t even think about the fact that I was back in my hometown.  So much for that.

“Were you planning on contacting us on your arrival or were you planning on flying under the radar?” My father asked in a tone that he used on me when I was being scolded for being bad as a little girl.

I steadied myself on Sam’s shoulder as he quietly bent down and picked up my crutches, took a breath and finally looked up at my father for the first time.  He had aged, and not well.  His hair was now completely grey and the lines around his eyes had become very defined.  It was obvious he had lost some weight too.  “Obviously I didn’t need to personally contact you, because you somehow found out anyways…” I said bitterly.

“Race called you mother.”

Figures.  Damn Denise.

“From the way it looks, you seem to have something else a lot more important here in the city of Edmonton, besides your family,” he continued with a direct glare in Sam’s direction.

Before I could even begin to say my rebuttal, Sam was jabbering.

“Mayor Fletcher, I’m Sam Gagner, Alex’s boyfriend…”

My father left out an ironic laugh as he shook Sam’s hand.  “Well, thanks for reassuring me that my daughter wasn’t here making out with just some random guy...Although I can’t say I’m too thrilled to find out she’s dating a hockey player…”

“Father, really?!” I hissed.  “You haven’t really had much contact with me and you find it okay to insult my boyfriend?!”

Sam squeezed my wrist in warning as my father just stared.  I was used to these looks; for Sam, not so much.

“Well, I’m tired from my flight.  Do I need to book a time to meet with you and mother by calling your secretary, or can we come up with something now?” I grumbled, not caring that I was sounding down right nasty.  Seeing him brought back all the hurt I had suppressed that last day he stepped into my hospital room.

That was probably one of the most uncomfortable situations I had ever been involved in.  Nothing like meeting the father of your girlfriend while making out with her in an airport terminal, in the city that he was mayor of, and who obviously doesn’t approve of anything his daughter does at the moment.  It was obvious a lot of mending needed to be done.

“Alex, you really should go over to your house now…” I said quietly as she snooped around my house, checking out things.

She turned around and shook her head.  “No, I am going to do lunch with them tomorrow.  Tonight is our time,” she spoke simply.  “I’m not going to let him ruin the time I have been waiting for since the day you left.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the sincerity in her voice and the look on her sweet face as she stood there from across the room.  I took a deep breath, recorded the memory of the moment in my brain and then practically ran across the room to scoop her up into my arms.  She left out a squeak and laughed as I carried her into the bedroom.

“Sam!” she squealed.

“What, Alex?!  Wasn’t this apart of your idea?” I feigned.

“This is exactly a part of my idea,” she purred, grabbing at my shirt and pulling it off me as I set her on the bed.

I didn’t give her time to strip me any farther.  I jumped onto the bed, pushed her backwards and began laying kisses all over her beautiful face and neck.  “God, I’ve missed you, princess.  The smell of your skin is making me crazy,” I growled into her neck, making her squirm under me.  Suddenly she pulled me down fully against her and flipped us, so that she was now over top of me.  There must have been a slight look of shock on my face.

“You know,” she grinned, “Now that I have the use of my legs back, you have your work cut out for you…”

“No, you do, because now you are always going to be on top,” I winked before getting her out of her dress.  I groaned while taking in the beauty who was now straddling me in just a pale yellow, laced bra and matching high-cut thong. Her hair was falling in her face; the lust in her eyes was undeniable.  “Shit,” I breathed.

She leaned down slowly.  She knew she was turning me on with every movement; it wasn’t difficult to notice with my dick straining to be released from the confines of my jeans.  I couldn’t breathe when her lips touched my forehead.  Her lace covered breasts lightly brushed across my bare chest, making it feel like my skin was on fire.  All I could do was breathe shallow breathes while she kissed random points on my body, moving at a painfully leisurely pace down towards the button on my jeans. 

She undid the button.  I ever so slightly lifted my hips so that she could remove the barrier, immediately feeling some relief.  I jumped when I felt her tongue draw up the length of my cock.  After a few tastes, she took me fully into her mouth and my hands immediately gathered into her hair.  Her mouth felt amazing around me.  I knew I wasn’t going to last long when she began using her hands to assist in pleasuring me.

“Alex, I need to be inside of you…” I mumbled in between groans of pleasure.

“Mmm,” she hummed, almost making me come anyway.

“Come here baby,” I said through clenched teeth as I concentrated on not going over the edge quite yet.

She took me fully into her mouth once more, and sucked hard as she let it slide out of her mouth one last time.  The look of disappointment on her face almost made me say that she could finish, but I was ready to bury myself into her depths and not look back.

I crawled back up the length of his body and pouted.  He undid my bra with a flick of two fingers, freeing my aching breasts and then hooked a finger through my thong, skillfully sliding them off as he rolled me onto my side.  Before I could get comfortable, he flipped me back on top of him again.  I braced my arms on his solid chest and slid myself down overtop his hard cock.  I couldn’t help but leave out a little cry of pleasure.  Once he was bottomed out in me, I sat there for a moment and just stared down at him before beginning to move.  I didn’t have all the strength in the world, but Sam helped in the movement department by placing his hands on my hips and assisting me.  This was a team effort and we were intent on scoring as many goals as possible.  Not only had I missed my best friend this past month, but I had also been missing my lover.  We really had an amazing connection and I couldn’t help but not see that every minute we spent looking into each other’s eyes.

Soon he had me pulled to his chest and he was doing most of the work, thrusting into me as he held me close.  “Sam…” I cried when he would hit the right spot.  It didn’t take long until I was speaking a line of curse words and succumbed to the orgasm that had been building as soon as we had begun this venture.  It wasn’t long after, Sam also began panting my name and I felt his seed fill me with all his warmth and love.

Lucky for me, Sam was totally into cuddling after doing the deed.  It worked to my advantage, because I couldn’t move, too entranced in the sound of his heartbeat and his breathing.

We made love a few more times that evening and ate dinner somewhere in between there.  We had gotten take-out from one of my favorite Thai places called The King and I.

“Mmm,” I moaned, allowing the flavors to melt in my mouth.  There was always something rewarding about eating food from a favorite restaurant that you haven’t eaten at in years, especially when reminded you of all the good times you spent in that city.

“If you show me yummy food places like this all week, I’m gonna need to get to the rink an hour early and stay an hour late to work it all off…” Sam licked his fingers.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you will be able to count an hour of sex towards that work-out time,” I grinned and poked him in the side with my toes.

“Smart thinking!” he exclaimed, crawling over towards me and giving me a sloppy, spicy kiss.  “So how much work will I have to do to talk you into staying here with me for the season?” he whispered into my ear.

My heart stopped, despite knowing the question was coming.  A warm feeling flowed through my veins and I almost forgot that he was probably waiting for some sort of response.

“I don’t want to rush things,” I began slowly, feeling him tense slightly before moving back to his seat on the couch so that he could look at my intently.  “However, it was only a month apart from you and I already thought this week was never going to come…”

I watched a small smile begin to form on his lips as he nodded in agreement.  “I really mean it, Alex.  Maybe it’s a little soon, but I want you to stay here with me for the season...I’m sure Dean could hook you up with someone to keep working with for your therapy,” he said thoughtfully.  “I’m not saying that there won’t be times that you will be lonely; being a hockey WAG is not always easy.”

“I obviously found things to occupy my time this last year and a half…” I giggled, but looked at him straight in the eyes to let him know I was touched by his worries and for the fact that he was being honest with me.

His face lit up, obviously noting that I was leaning towards his side on things.  “Well, actually, if you want, the WAG’s here always need help with all their charities and I know they would probably be very happy to have you.”

I laughed at this.  “I haven’t even met anyone yet.  So you don’t know for sure if they’ll want me around.”

“Why wouldn’t they?!  You’re perfect,” he grinned, crawling back over to me and taking my plate from my hands, placing it on the coffee table.

“I’m fairly sure you’re biased, Gagner.”

“No, I’m just realistic,” he nuzzled me neck, knowing it always got me amped up.

I playfully pushed him away, trying to get some air between us.  He compromised by flipping onto his back and laying his head in my lap, looking up at me with his hypnotic eyes.  “You know, you are a man that goes from one spectrum to the other,” I teased.

“How so?”

“Well, at first you didn’t want anything to do with me and now here you are asking me to move in with you and making it sound as if it would be a sin for someone not to like me.”

“It would be a sin!” he exclaimed.  “Which is exactly why I’m all about you now; it’s all about getting God to forgive my sin so that I can get to Heaven.”

“So you’re using me?” I scoffed, trying so hard not to laugh at his absurdity.

“Just think it as a partnership.  I get to go to Heaven and you get to praise Him every time I make love to you.”

I just rolled my eyes and shook my head.  If only life could always be this innocent.

“Alexandra!” My mother cried, running into the foyer while still wiping her hands dry on a dish towel.  The house smelled glorious from her home cooking.  It was evident she was going to pull out all the stops for our lunch.  “I swear it is a miracle!” she pulled me close and kissed my hair.  I knew she was talking about the fact of me walking again, but she never could actually bring herself to say the words.  “You look so beautiful, my daughter.”

“You look good too, Mom,” I choked, cursing myself as the tears came all too easy.  I was quickly realizing how much I had suppressed all the disappointment and how much I really did miss being in her arms.

“Thank you so much for coming home, even if we weren’t the main reason,” she whispered.

I nodded and took a step back from her.

“I hope you’re hungry!  I made your favorite,” she began clucking like normal, scurrying back to the kitchen.  I followed her and took a seat at the breakfast table, watching her move around the room that she and I had spent so much time together on weekends and after school.  I would sit here to do my homework as she made dinner and on the weekends, she would teach me something new to cook or bake.  I often thought of those times when I was in Afghanistan.

“Creamy Chicken Casserole?” I asked.

She spun around and smiled broadly while she nodded her head.  It was then I noticed how much she had aged since the last time I saw her.  The wrinkles on her face were becoming more prominent and her hair was almost silver and not the light brown I remembered it to be.  Seems like we all aged a lot over this time apart.

“So tell me about this boy you are here to visit?” she suddenly began.

“Ah, so Father told you?”

“He just told me you were here visiting a boy…”

It was obvious he told her more, but she wanted to hear it from me.  In all honesty, I didn’t have any problem talking about Sam.  “Well, we met back in London.  He trains at the same facility I am doing my therapy at and is actually Denise’s cousin.”  The surprised look on my mom’s face told me in fact that I was right; my father had told her more than she was letting on, but obviously she didn’t know that fact.  I could only assume that he made a stink about Sam being a hockey player, making him sound like a total stranger that picked me up at the bar.  Well, instead of picking me up, I caught him…but that is totally unrelated now.  “So, yeah, he’s obviously up here to start the season with the Oilers…”

“What’s his name?”

“Sam Gagner.”

“Oh!  He’s the boy with the bigger ears,” she said in a tone that was not meant to make fun of him, but I laughed any way.

“Yes, that would be him.”

“He does a lot in the community,” she spoke thoughtfully.  “But, then again, the whole team is very involved here.”

“That is what he told me…”

“So you must be pretty serious, because I can’t see you coming up here for someone you don’t care much about,” she smiled sadly.

“I’m in love with him,” I said plainly.  I wanted to say that it was so serious that I was actually contemplating on moving in with him here in Edmonton, but I didn’t think now was the proper time for that bomb.

She looked at me for a moment and then nodded.  “So you have moved with your life.”

“Yes, he has helped me a lot with that.”

“I’m glad.”

Before I could say anything more, my father stepped into the kitchen and nodded to me.  I guess he hasn’t moved forward with his life.

“How did you get here?” he asked not sounding very polite in the process.

“Sam dropped me off.”

“He’s not coming for lunch?”

“He figured that it should just be the 3 of us this time,” I said quietly, starting to seethe slightly at his condescending tone.

He just nodded and grabbed the plates my mother had set aside before walking out to the dining room to set the table.

Dinner was very awkward.  My mother was non-stop talk and my father was silent as a mute.  By the end of it, I was praying that my stomach wouldn’t make me empty all of its contents, at least not here in this house.  It made me mad that he was still doting on the past and with each silent moment, the angrier I became.

“So what is it that you want to say to me Father?” I suddenly spouted, actually cutting my mom off as she talked about one of her projects at the library.

He raised his eyebrows and looked up from his half-eaten dinner plate.  “I don’t have anything to say,” he said simply, pissing me off even more.

“I’m walking again…and you have nothing to say?!” I raised my voice ever so slightly.  “What do I need to do to prove to you that the decision I made was one that I will never regret?”

“You went to war and what do you have now?! Nothing.  You have no job and you have nothing to show for your time except for scars and crutches!” he shouted.

“I have my life,” I hissed.  “I have a man that loves me for who I am and doesn’t expect me to be anyone but myself.  Just because I didn’t do what you wanted me to do, doesn’t mean my life is a waste.”

“But you could have been so much more.”

“And you could just accept me for who I am and be proud of me.  You pin medals of honor on the men who return from the war, but you can’t even look at your daughter, a war hero, and say that maybe she was right in the decisions she has made.  Don’t you hate waking up and looking in the mirror, knowing you are a hypocrite?”

“Please, stop arguing,” my mother sobbed.  “He misses you Alexandra, he is just a proud man who can’t admit when he’s wrong…”

“And I’m a woman who will not step back and accept that as an apology,” I spoke, staring straight into his eyes.  “I am who I am because of you, Father,” I continued.  “If you can’t accept that, then it is what it is.”  I laid my napkin down on the table.  Grabbed my crutches, stood up and kissed my mom on the cheek.  “I will see you later.  Thank you for the delicious lunch.  I am sorry,” I whispered. 

I didn’t turn back as I walked through the front door of the building that was once my home.  I hobbled slowly a couple blocks down and plopped myself on the park bench and waited for the man I knew I could still count on. 

Life wasn’t meant to be perfect and I was starting to realize that I was okay with that.  What would it be without the adventures?  If it meant I wasn’t going to have everything I wanted, then I could deal with that.  Maybe things didn’t work out with my father the way I would have hoped, but at least I couldn’t say I didn’t try.  I looked down at my legs and the crutches that were sitting by my side.  I had come a long way in just a few months.  Between the walking and my outlook on life, it was obvious that maybe the Man upstairs really did keep me on this earth for something more.

I was still thinking about this thought when Sam pulled up alongside the curb.  When he put down the window, I instantly saw his smile and sent up a silent thank you, because I was fairly sure it was that smile I was kept on this earth for.

Chapter Eighteen

Well... I'd like to say I'm back to posting every other day, but unless a miracle happens, the next Chapter will be posted on Friday... until then, I will most likely leave you hanging... I apologize now!!

The stars are dancin' on the water here tonight
It's gonna fall a soul when there's not a soul in sight
This boat has caught its wind and brought me back to life now I'm alive and well

I'm Alive - Kenny Chesney/Dave Matthews

“Fletch!! You are almost there!” Dean yelled as he jumped up and down.  I had walked half the length of the parallel bars and I was taking the last few steps to the end where he was waiting to catch me so that we could celebrate together.

It felt like I had practically sold my soul to the devil to get to this point, but finally all the hard work was paying off.

“I can’t believe this!” I whispered loudly.

“Look over here and smile!” Terry called out.  When I looked over I found him using his flip camera to film me.  He must have seen the confused look in my eyes because he immediately piped up, “I promised Sam I’d record you…”

“I’m going to kill him,” I grumbled through my teeth, unable to stop smiling because I was too happy at what I was doing.  It didn’t mean I wasn’t going to argue with Terry before he sent it to Sam.  Of course I wasn’t walking like a normal human being.  In fact, I was fairly sure I looked like a fawn that was just born and trying to figure out how their legs worked.  It was most likely a very awkward looking sight.

“If you are worrying about what you look like right now, then you definitely are a princess!” Dean chirped, just a foot away from me now as I neared the end.

I left go of the one bar and reached out to smack him.  My effort was taken as he scooped me up and swung me around the gym, hooting and hollering out congratulations.

It seemed like I wasn’t going to need to worry about getting my wheelchair to Edmonton after all.

“So when are we going to meet this woman of yours, Gags?” Gilbert asked as we sat with several other guys from the team at dinner.  Teddy had already announced to Gilby about my new status as soon as I stepped into the locker room on the first day of training camp.  Teddy was known for not keeping his mouth shut and Tom was considered the most sappy love-struck guy on the team.  He was more than amused to hear that I was involved with someone that had more than a nice set of tits and a hole to stick it in.  Not surprisingly, he had never been a huge fan of Eden.

“The day after the Canucks game…on Sunday her plane is arriving,” I said quietly, mainly because I refused to be all giddy about my girlfriend like Tom could be.  There was nothing wrong about being happy and in love with your girlfriend, but there was definitely something annoying when you constantly talked about her and all the sappy romantic stuff you do for her when you’re with the guys.  I always found it irritating when Tom did it, and I know I wasn’t the only one.

“You have to bring her to the party Hallsy and me are throwing,” Eberle piped up from across the table.

“Are you two old enough to throw a party?” someone chirped, causing the whole table to bust up in laughter as Taylor and Jordan glared.

Once I stopped laughing with the rest of the gang, I asked, “When is it?”

“Monday night, after the baseball game the team is attending,” Taylor spoke a little quieter than normal, still seeming annoyed at the joke on his and Ebs, expense.

“For sure.  Wouldn’t see that being a problem…” I said, not sounding as sure as I wanted to. Suddenly I found myself wondering what the guys’ reaction was going to be when they found out that Alex was handicapped.  After getting the video that Terry sent me the other day, I was sure she’d be walking, but it wouldn’t be without some sort of help.  I didn’t care what they thought, but I was more concerned for Alex’s sake.  I knew she was probably going to be more than a little self conscious, especially around all new people.  She wasn’t going to know anyone but me.  I guess my slight hesitation was noted and by none other than Gilbert.  He knew me all too well after rooming with him and Cogs for two years.

“So I’m thinking there is something you haven’t told the group about Alex…” Tom half inquired while we walked back to the arena where our cars were parked.  We were spaced far enough apart from the other guys, making it private enough to talk.

I sighed and shrugged.  “It’s not a huge deal…” I said slowly.

“If it wasn’t a huge deal, then you wouldn’t be so cautious about telling me,” Tom chuckled.

He was right.  But I was right too; it wasn’t a big deal, at least not to me anymore.  “Alex was in the Army and was shot in the back, causing enough damage to keep her from walking.”

“So she’s paralyzed?” Tom asked.

“Well, not really,” I said.  “See, we met while at the gym.  She’s been doing rehab there and actually, she’s now beginning to walk again,” I spoke, unable to hide a smile because I was still so proud of her.  I pulled out my phone and pulled up the video.  Terry sent this to me last week, she’s making huge progress.”

Tom laughed when he hear Alex make the comment about killing me.  “I like her already,” he winked.  After I put my phone back into my pocket, I looked over at him and watched him shrug.  “So what’s your worry?” he asked.

“I just don’t want the guys acting all weird around her…you know how they can get.  Hell, I know how I was the first time I met her.”

“I don’t think you give them enough credit.”  He paused and then asked, “So what how were you the first time you met her?”

I groaned and shook my head.  “A real ass.”

“I don’t know Denise…” I whined as I stood in the department store, staring at the dress she insisted I put on.  We were out shopping for my trip to Edmonton, which was a big deal for someone who was not the real big shopping type.

“The dress looks beautiful on you, Alex.  Sam is going to love it!”

I frowned.  It was a golden yellow, paisley patterned, cotton dress that could be dressed up or dressed down.  Denise thought it would be perfect for me to wear as I walked off the plane.  The color really did compliment my skin color, making me look even more sun-kissed than I already was, but I had never been the type to wear dresses for everyday attire.  “I’m fairly sure Sam would appreciate it if I would just show up naked…”

“Yeah, but that would be illegal and you have to look good for not only him, but all the new friends you are going to meet!” Denise squeaked.  “You promised to be open about this, Alex.”

I sighed and nodded.  “Yes, I did.  I just wish I didn’t have these stupid crutch things…”

Denise got in front of me and cupped my face with her hands, making sure I paid attention to her.  “Oh ye of low self esteem!  First all you did was complain about your wheelchair.  Now you are complaining about having to use the crutches to walk.  Did you hear the last two words of that sentence?!  TO WALK!  You are now walking, Alex!  Find some happiness in that.  You of all people should know these things take time.”

Tears sprung into my eyes as I really thought about her words.  “I guess I do sound selfish and ungrateful, eh?”

“Yup.”

“But I’m so afraid of what these guys are going to think of me.  I’m afraid they are going to pick on Sam about me not being beautiful like all the other WAG’s and he’ll dump me,” I blubbered in the middle of the dressing room.

“Honey, you are beautiful and you are more naïve than I thought because I know for a fact that Sam is in love with you.  If the guys have an issue with a woman who served her country to her fullest, then they are lower than dirt and no attention should be paid to them anyway.”

I sucked in a breath and left out a manic laugh.  “Wow.”

“What?”

“I sound like a pathetic child, don’t I?”

“Yeah, you do.”

I shook my head and looked back up at the mirror.  “I really need to see Sam.  This whole being far away from him is messing with my head.”

“That is obvious,” Denise, giggled and pulled me into a hug.

Later on the ride home, the trunk stuffed with practically a whole new wardrobe, Denise asked the next question that had been looming ever since the day Sam gave me the tickets to go back to my hometown.

“Have you talked to your mom and dad yet?”

I bit my lip and just shook my head.  “No.”

“I think you should.  I bet they would like to see you…”

“If they wanted to see me, then I’m sure they would have come to visit me.” 

My mom was the only one who would actually call me on a regular basis, which was only once a month.  When we did talk, the conversations were short and to the point.  How are you doing?  How is therapy?  When do you think you’ll be home?  She never seemed to get the fact that I didn’t want to come home.  I didn’t want to face my father because I already knew how he felt about my injuries.  He felt like I deserved this because it was my own choice to put myself in danger.  Funny how one decision can change a whole relationship.  I knew my mom cared, but I was fairly sure my father had filled her head with all kind of nonsense because she never really sounded like the same person I remembered from growing up.

“I think you should at least make an effort, Alex,” Denise said in a motherly tone.  “You still have your parents; you are lucky,” she grimaced.  Denise had lost both of her parents early in life.  Her father died when she was 18, from a heart attack, and her mother died from cancer a few years later.

I nodded and kept my mouth shut because I knew whatever I said was going to sound even more selfish than I sounded earlier in the day.

I was pacing back and forth nervously in the terminal, waiting for Alex’s plane to disembark.  Despite only getting to bed at 3am, I was wide awake at 7am, already wanting to leave for the airport.  Of course, her flight wasn’t getting in until 1pm.  I took a long, cold shower to calm my hormones, watched some Sports Centre and finally it was close enough to the time of her flight arrival that I wouldn’t be overly early. 

“Better watch it, you keep walking back and forth like that, they are going to make you replace their carpet in the terminal,” Alex chirped from behind me.

I spun around and found her standing with the help of forearm crutches, smiling at me.  Her hair was down, and her chocolate eyes were sparkling as she smiled at me.  It was strange to see her actually standing, but it was even stranger seeing her in a dress.  She looked like a country chick in brown cowboy boots and a paisley dress.  My brain turned to mush and immediately I felt the warm familiar churning in my stomach.  My dreams had not been doing me justice.  I couldn’t say anything and at first I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to move.  She began taking a few steps towards me and finally my body moved.  Within a few steps I had her scooped up into my arms.  “Alex,” I breathed into her hair before kissing it.

“You’re squishing me,” she whined as her crutches fell to the ground.  I swung her around and only loosened my hold on her by a little.

“You look beautiful,” I whispered before capturing her lips and kissing her hard.  I smiled when I felt her finally melt into me.  Her hands removed my backwards baseball hat and soon they were threading through my hair that was already growing longer.  Her mouth tasted like peppermint and our kiss deepened with every passing moment. We must have been kissing for a little longer than we realized because we soon heard someone clear their throat aside of us.

“Excuse me,” an older male voice spoke up.

I felt Alex’s body freeze and not move as I pulled back enough to turn my head and look over at the man.  A stern expression covered his face and for some reason he looked really familiar.

Still looking straight at me, Alex said, tight lipped, “Hello, father.”

Oh shit.

Chapter Seventeen

FINALLY!! I am back and with a chapter!! Sorry for the long wait, everyone!!

Soundtrack: Some DMB http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxQFYeS5DoI&feature=related

“Really, Sam?!” she whined when I threw a first class plane ticket onto her lap.

I was leaving in a few hours for Edmonton. Ever since we had our talk the other night, we were completely inseparable. In fact, Alex had only been home to her apartment to get changes of clothing and take in the mail. We fell into an easy routine and she helped me get my place cleaned up for the season and then get packed. It was a little challenging with her wheelchair at times, but I found her a walker that had wheels and a seat on it so that I could just push her around upstairs on that instead of carrying the wheelchair up and down all the time. She wasn’t overly thrilled about it, but I just ignored her and didn’t give her much of a choice when I refused to bring her chair upstairs. She started going back to her training sessions with Dean and we all immediately began seeing positive results. It wasn’t consistent, but Alex was beginning to pick-up her feet and “walk” instead of dragging her feet while on the parallel bars. Like I said, it wasn’t consistent, but it was a huge start.

“Yes, really, Alexandra!” I mocked back as I straddled her, pinning her to the couch with my body. “I want you there for opening night.”

“But I don’t even like hockey…and besides, home opener isn’t until the 9^th and this ticket is for the 2^nd!”

I laughed. “For not liking hockey, you sure seem to know my schedule pretty well. I’m fairly sure you don’t like hockey because you don’t know much about it, so why not learn to love the game by seeing it live and in person?”

She bit her lip and breathed out some air, looking very frustrated and very cute at the same time. “It’s in Edmonton.”

“Yup, I play for the Edmonton Oilers,” I played along, knowing it would annoy her even more if I played stupid.

“Sam! You know that my dad is the mayor there and that whole family issue there…”

“Yup.”

“Well, if I go to Edmonton, then I’m going to have to visit my family.”

“Yup.”

She made some growling noise and pushed against my shoulders with my hands. “There is no doubt that you and Denise are family because you both manipulate to get your own way.”

I grinned and braced myself for a couple more hits. We had talked in length over the last several days about the fact that she needed to get things straight with them before it was too late and she regretted it. I was a big family person and it really bothered me how broken her relationship was with her parents that had once been very important in her life. “Well it’s not all about getting you back together with your family. In fact, it has more to do with me…”

“You?”

“Yup.”

“How so?”

“Because besides practices and a few team events, you and I have a whole week together. By that point it will be a little over a month since we will have seen each other and I’m thinking we’ll have a lot to catch up on,” I winked, making her finally giggled and shake her head.

“So basically you are making me a prisoner in my hometown?”

I looked at her for a minute and then nodded my head. “Yup, it would seem so. But don’t worry, I’ll only tie you to the bed with my silk suit-ties.”

I was going to miss him more than I wanted to be missing him. This past week had been utterly ridiculous. I’m fairly sure a person is not supposed to laugh that much or have that many orgasms. I was going to be going through some serious withdraw and I knew it. Of course I couldn’t let him know, but I was really excited about heading to Edmonton. As much as I wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of seeing my family, I did really miss the city I spent my early years in. I was already thinking about some of the places I wanted to take Sam to. In more than one conversation, I realized Sam didn’t know all the cool hangout spots in the city.

Besides all the sex, Sam and I spent a lot of time just talking and getting to know even more about each other. Talking about the war in front of him became a lot easier for me. I didn’t need Race there to feel as if it was okay to speak about certain things. Suddenly it felt like all the counseling I had been involved in over the past year and a half had clicked and I was finally beginning to deal with everything.

“Does it ever hurt?” Sam asked quietly, tracing the scar on my back from the bullet, as we laid in bed together. I was lying on my belly and using his chest as a pillow, it was becoming a routine position for sleeping because the sound of his heart put me to sleep.

I turned my head so that I was looked up at him and spoke hoarsely, “I actually only feel you touching the scar when you go too far above or below it with your fingers.”

“You have no feeling there?”

“No, it’s a lot of scar tissue because they had to open me up so many times after the infection had set in. I was actually thinking of getting a tattoo over it; I mean it wouldn’t hurt as bad if I got it somewhere else.”

Sam started laughing quietly.

“What?”

“You’d have a tramp stamp…”

“It would not be a tramp stamp. There would be no tribal shit.”

“I’m not saying it wouldn’t look hot!” he threw up us hands. “What would you get?”

“Something in Korean I think,” I said thoughtfully.

“A saying?”

“Probably. However I won’t be getting it until I walk again.”

His hands came back down onto my back and began tracing my scar again. It was actually kind of soothing. “So it’s a reward to yourself, eh?”

“Guess you could say that.”

“I like that idea. You’re going to look sexy with a tattoo,” he winked before pulling me up to his lips. “Not that you aren’t sexy enough as it is,” he added before kissing me deeply before I could smack him.

Dropping Sam off at the airport came all too soon. I teared up a little when we dropped Johnny off two days ago, but I knew I’d most likely be a snotty mess, despite not wanting to be like that.

“You’re biting your lip so hard that I’m sure you taste blood right now,” Sam joked as we sat next to each other, waiting in the terminal.

I looked over at him and then looked back down at the floor.

“No sulking or tears, Princess Mulan.”

I elbowed him in the ribs hard enough to make him curse. “Well, now you’ll have a bruise to remember me by for a little.”

“You know, I could always get your ticket changed so that you come along with me now…” he whispered into my ear.

I looked over at him again and pleaded silently for him to stop torturing me. “You know I can’t right now.”

He sighed and pulled me close to him. “I know. You have a goal to achieve. I want to be able to watch you get a tattoo in Edmonton,” he breathed into my hair.

“I probably won’t be walking without some sort of crutches or something…” I grumbled.

“Everything takes time, Alex,” he said sincerely. It amazed me how much he seemed to have grown-up just in this past month. However, his childish ways were still there, which made me fall in love with him even more. “Do you want some pop-rocks?” he suddenly shoved the package in front of my face. See what I mean?

I sat laughed and nodded my head, a tear already threatening to escape. We laughed obnoxiously at each other, garnering some glares from other travelers, but we didn’t care because it kept our minds off of the upcoming emptiness.

“Flight 671 for Edmonton, now boarding…”

Sam stood up and quickly pulled me to my own feet. I was actually able to put weight on my legs so that I didn’t have to rely fully onto him, but that didn’t matter because he still held me tight against him like he did that first night we danced together.

“I love you Alexandra.”

I smiled because I was beginning to like hearing him say my full-name. “I love you too, Sam.”

“I’ll call you as soon as I touch down.”

“Okay.”

“Promise me you won’t be a hermit in your apartment for the next month?”

“I’m fairly sure Denise will have me over at their place helping ready for the nursery…” I rolled my eyes and smiled. Race and Denise announced the news yesterday at a BBQ they held for the end of Sam’s summer. Everyone was ecstatic for the news, including me and Sam who were already asked to be the God parents.

“For our God child,” Sam grinned. He was very excited about it because he loved kids.

“Yup.”

Several hours later I was sitting alone in my apartment in Edmonton, already wishing she was here with me. I was just glad I had hockey to keep my mind busy, but nights were going to be tough.

Me: What are you doing?

Alex: Just hopping and skipping around the house, celebrating the fact you are gone…

Me: LOL You have such a wonderful sense of humor, Princess.

Alex: Did you make your bed yet?

Me: You’ve already been watching YouTube videos about me?

Alex: Well, I had to hear your voice and see your face somehow, right?

Me: I’m fairly sure that’s pathetic.

Alex: And I’m fairly sure you’ve made me this way.

Me: Then I’m totally okay with you being pathetic.

Alex: I love you.

Me: I love you more.